Can I become a swinger?

Of course you can. Everyone is welcomed in the swinging community, as whatever your shape, size, color, tastes, fantasies or shoe size is, someone, somewhere will be looking for you.

OK, so how do I start?

First read and memorize the "Golden Rules of Swinging"

Determine what you (if single) or you and your partner want to do, Be prepared to discuss your needs, and your partners, be prepared for some surprises, as you may well find that the things you have talked about as pillow talk are just the start of some very exciting fantasies. Remember that you both need to feel comfortable with what you are going to do, so define behavior boundaries for each meeting or club visit.

Go to the event, and stay within the agreed boundaries. There have been many incidents where one partner has abandoned the agreement mid way through the evening, which is going to cause the evening to end in arguments.

Remember that at anytime, you or the other people or person can say NO. At this point activity stops. Never ignore a person who asks you to stop playing, physical contact after this point is sexual assault or rape.

After the event, go home and play, talk about the evening, what you liked and disliked, how it could be more fun, and what you should avoid on future meetings.

So how do I/we find someone to "Play" with?

The Internet

As you are reading this, you obviously have access to a computer and the internet. This is the quickest medium to make contact with swingers.

Find a swingers site that covers the area you live in, have a look at our links page for some of the best sites to try. Watch out for the sites that are out to rip you off - these sites usually consist of an access page to a database, and little if anything else, they are often run by attractive women (usually a porn merchant hiding behind a fake identity). Look for a site such as http://www.dirty-david.com, this site has loads of information for swingers, and millions of users in dozens of countries.

The sites all have databases of swingers. some databases are very basic, holding very little in the way of information about the advertisers. Other have more complex systems based on profiles, where you can create your own profile, and then search for people who match your requirements.

Once you have fond some potential playmates, write them a message. Remember that you are not the only person looking, and probably not the only person trying to contact the people you have found. You need to check their profile to make sure that your details match what they are looking for, you will then need to sell yourselves without being arrogant, write telling them a bit about you both, and what you want to try.

You may not get a response, you may not, but don't give up, with thousands of people in the scene, you will find someone somewhere.

Contact Magazines

These adult magazines are on sale in most countries. They consist of dozens of small ads of people looking for others to play with. You read the magazine, write letters to the people you like the look of, and then send your letters to the magazine for them to forward to the advertisers.

This method works, but is slow. It can be 3 months or more before an ad is printed, and days or weeks for your letter to reach the advertiser and for them to reply to you.

Swingers Clubs and Parties

There are thousands of swingers clubs around the world, and they make an ideal venue for meeting other people. Most have a bar/relaxation area where you can meet other swingers in safety, and where should you find someone compatible you have the facilities to play.

Check with the club before you go to make sure that the day you intend to visit they cater for people you could want to meet.

Clubs often have nights geared to meet the needs of different groups within the swinging scene:

  • Couples Only nights - catering for couple who want to meet couples. Single males are always barred from these events, though single ladies are usually allowed.

  • Greedy Girl / gang bang nights - catering for the girl who likes lots of male attention. The ratio of men to women is from 3 to 1, to 10 to 1. This can sound daunting, but ladies are treated with respect, and only play with as many, or as few, of the men as they want to.

  • Bi nights - generally for couples only where both are bi-sexual.

  • Fetish nights - dressing up, whips and chains, oil and leather and lace.

  • Gay nights - usually geared towards gay men, though some cater for gay females as well.